i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
