from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
