I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
