Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
