all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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