I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
