Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
