Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
