A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
