I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
