dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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