I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
