My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
