Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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