this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
