I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
