She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sober January is a disaster.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
