oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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