He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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