I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
