There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
