Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
