i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize