You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
