Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
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i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
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WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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