My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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