Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
