He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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