dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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