Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
