you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
