he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
