I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
