i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
