he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize