You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
