You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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