sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
