omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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