he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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