Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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