It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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