i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i think my cat just said my name.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
