that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
