Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i already hear my dad disowning me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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