Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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