So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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