Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I am midnight drunk by noon
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
