I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
