That's when you crack a 10am beer
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
