She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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