and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
