Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Come see our sink grown plant.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
