Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
