a queef is a wish your heart makes.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
