I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
