aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize