Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
