i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
