he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
